I want to talk about something weird and wonderful; intuition. The word is used frequently in conversation. We might say “She is so intuitive.” or “I just intuitively knew…” or “I’d like to develop my intuition even more.” I think each of us have our own sense of what it is and the experience of it. It might be interesting to know the synonyms for the word intuition are; instinct, hunch, ESP, discernment, feeling, clairvoyance, and more.
Depending on how you were raised, taught, what you saw, heard and experienced; this word can hold many different meanings for you. Seems however, like each of us have some sort of inner connection to the experience. My first invitation in this exploration is that we are willing to explore! To “look around” without judgement or fear, without feeling the need to be guarded or defensive in any way.
I’d like to explore how to develop intuition, methods of practice, and what mindset or heart connection would support that.
Let’s start with how it develops. Seems like any “development” would be a process of unfolding, education, and maturity of some sort like “child development” perhaps. For me, the phrase communicates a process that includes a willingness to practice. Practicing anything will include experimentation, intention, and learning from “mistakes”. Some report a spontaneous development of intuition or psychic awareness as a result of a near death experience. I’m not prepared to explore that although I admit I believe that happens.
Mostly, those things we practice everyday become part of us. So for me, one method of practice that I use is to be open or welcoming to the “small voice” inside that tells me “don’t forget your coat” or “bring that box your friend left at your house” even though I have no plans to see her. It is something other than what my logical mind can conjure. It is up to me to first notice when it has a message, and then how to respond. As often as I am aware, I at least consider this “inner voice” an equal perspective and perhaps even more dominant than any logical deduction. I like to play with it even. Like I’ll be at work and have a wave wash over me with the awareness/thought of a particular person and then they walk in the door. Noticing when that happens gives me a clear reflection of my inner landscape.
It can be so satisfying to feel the oneness of our connection to ALL life! And, it will highlight any judgements, fears, or other misgivings there may be in our belief systems too. It’s really useful to meet those parts of ourselves with curiosity and claim sovereignty over our choices around beliefs and behaviors. When we are curious about something, we are open and willing to explore, no matter if it’s a tide pool at the ocean or tasting a new food. We each have a reference to this for ourselves.
That takes me to the part about our mindset. As humans, we naturally have biases; it’s biologically that way for our physical survival. Our ancestors way back, had to make quick and often uninformed judgements that would determine if they lived or died. So that’s understandable and we want to appreciate that aspect of our evolution; after-all – it likely has something to do with our being on the planet today! However, there is a place beyond that place. If we are mindful, and are interested in being open to noticing that we are safe physically, we can notice any internal sensations, messages in words, pictures, or a feeling of “knowingness” that might be present.
Heart connection is another element to consider too. Our heart is our “oldest” organ as it forms by week 7 of gestation! We can often follow our heart when making big decisions more easily than our logic. It is such a deep part of who we are and we feel that. It is considered our feeling center of emotion. What better receptor to call on to receive those feelings of intuition.
This aspect of Self seems to be a gateway to authenticity. Each of us is unique, like everyone else… came to experience life in this world, in this physical dimension. And we are not JUST physical but also have many other aspects to our existence. Psychic awareness is said to be a birthright rather than an unusual or rare “gift” and most of us just haven’t exercised that muscle.
You choose what is right for you. I wish for you to have full access to an empowered life in whatever way you choose, for this journey that we are traveling together
Presence & Self Relience
My heart is soothed in this moment thinking and feeling about each of you as I write. I am feeling a tender heart today. And, I am grateful for the opportunity to take some time and be present with you.
I confess, I can’t always make sense of the way things unfold for me. Part of me really prefers that the “story” make sense; but that just isn’t the way it goes sometimes. I’m more relaxed about that being my experience more often these days. Must be the added practice I’ve been getting…!
Intellectually, I’m sure we all understand how experiencing loss, disappointment, or even trauma; can later be “triggered” or stimulated in a way that reminds us of the feelings or sensations of the past experience in a significant way. When that happens, it is not ACTUALLY happening in the present, and our presence to that detail is an amazing influencer to help us through. I got to practice this just yesterday.
I had a long overdue mammogram scheduled. It wasn’t my first one so there was no surprise as to how it goes or the fact that it’s not the most pleasant or comfortable experience. And at the same time, it wouldn’t be confused with an unsafe or dangerous event. I however, had an internal reaction as if I was being accosted. First I was uncomfortable but silent. I was silent because there was no apparent care for how I was feeling about having my boob pulled up down and sideways, then smashed to the fullest extent possible and told to “be still”. Again, intellectually I knew there was nothing out of the ordinary about this process and no intention to harm; I knew it was a memory silhouette that got triggered in me. I was able to be present with both parts of me having a very different experience at the exact same time. And when I got to the changing room I was feeling woozy and weepy; and I just let myself feel it, be completely with the feelings in the moment like a mother and child. After a few minutes it dissipated and I was ready to leave the office and drive myself home.
I’ve done work with these parts from my past that were hurtful. I’m confident that with the new conditioning of my presence in the process and continued education I can increase confidence in my self care and decrease the intensity of the memory. I am open to assistance with healing modalities, teachers, and also realize that it’s my ability to use what I learn; to integrate it, that will be the lasting benefit. The answer is never “out there”. GOD DWELLS WITHIN ME, AS ME.
With so much energy supporting TRANSFORMATION in 2023, I am not surprised that aspects undigested are arising to allow me to heal, digest or tend them in some way. I think as adults it is sometimes a cultural or social expectation to not have these kinds of issues or triggered experiences. And, each time they do – we have an opportunity to claim our values, support our needs and follow our truest most authentic sense of “response-ability”. I am encouraged to see more and more examples of individuals stepping out of the mold and into a lifestyle that has more heart connection for them despite the courage needed to let go of what is familiar.
We are right on time! All is well…
Welcoming What’s New
Welcome, year 2023! We feel you, and ask there to be gentleness as we experience this new energy. We are willing to learn from whatever is in store ahead through the vibrations of this new year!
Many of you, like myself, have been feeling into the energy of this year. To me it feels expansive and expanding, it feels supportive and challenging, and fast with frequent shifts. Very ALIVE! The beginning of a new year is like opening to a whole new chapter. There’s a freshness and hopefulness to new beginnings. It’s common for us to give ourselves permission to shake off the dreams and goals that have been set aside in our busy lives; waiting for the right time. It’s tempting to heap all of our ambitions on the heels of the momentum we feel in the new year. And, it’s tempting to quickly feel overwhelmed with the weight of grand ideals. Sometimes, it’s possible to later feel even more disappointed to not have the dreams and goals make the progress we had hoped for.
My wish for us all, is to be willing to learn from the tortoise in the children’s fable “The Tortoise and the Hare”. Remember that one? The tortoise was willing to trust itself and its journey to move “slow but sure”. It can be an act of both humility and commitment, to keep our focus and move intentionally.
The astrological position of celestial bodies is one of potent evolution. Whether it’s stirring up wounds so we can make powerful choices about healing or encountering powerful reflections of our innate gifts and abundant opportunities. It supports MOVEMENT!
One thing to consider having this awareness, is the impact on us if we resist this movement. Imagine standing in a great river with water moving downstream. As the speed of the water increases, even when standing firmly and with focus, it becomes unsteady to say the least. It brings to mind the phrase “pick your battles” which I use to help me be aware that I have choices and it serves me to choose mindfully.
I feel drawn to name a focus and theme for myself to help me create some guidelines or boundaries as I move forward. This year I have chosen “resolve”. For me this refers to making space and applying focused effort to tend to the many aspects of my life that I have set aside over the past many years. These things feel unfinished and all bring practical and energetic consequences. I see this as an act of personal power; to activate my real influence over my own life and the circumstances of my making. I intuitively feel this piece as one of the key puzzle pieces to my experience of wholeness.
Am I Wrong
Every person has “evidence” that they are wrong about something. There are many variables that will influence the development of self-identity. But it is trauma, chronic trauma that can create a long lasting imprint on our belief system that we “are” wrong. In my case, I grew up the youngest in a home with much trauma history before I arrived. It was unresolved when I arrived so I came into the ongoing scenario as it continued to unfold. Raised in a religious practice that was organized in a limiting and “protective” structure, I think it was the perfect set-up for what came next.
In my young adult life, I realized what some of the benefits had been. I had felt insulated from making mistakes or taking risks. Having moved out of that organization, I had “freedom” but I no longer had insulation from dangerous influences, and I was ill-prepared. My template of “I’m doing it wrong” just expanded! I hadn’t developed self confidence, so boundary setting was near impossible, save the extreme cases of life or death; which of course reinforced evidence that I was “wrong” because not exercising clear boundaries is problematic.
Decision making was so hard. Whatever I would think was the way to go, would be met with “Are you sure? You know you’re always wrong” or “I must be wrong so I should choose the opposite way”. All the while feeling the pressure of adult life and circumstances holding me accountable. It just seemed to wrap around and around until there is no way to unwind the ball of string that is now completely overwhelming. And, time moves on; life finds a way; each day is a new opportunity to begin again.
Recently, when working with my feelings of “stuckness” in a relationship, I realized the stuckness was not the “other person’s” influence really. I could easily argue with facts that it was, but I also knew that this pattern was in place with other relationships, different times, places and people. Ah, that’s so telling…!
That’s when I identified this piece about my self identity of being “wrong” and how I was attached to that idea in such a way that it literally paralyzed me from taking any steps toward change. Even though I was experiencing valid harm, it wasn’t life threatening so it wasn’t justifiable to change it. I have adapted to a condition of disappointment, invalidation, not expecting “too much”. And by these standards, have arrived at a pseudo safety, or stabilization. A place of little to no risk (I tell myself) because this person won’t leave, I can continue to put up with whatever they dish out because “I know how, I’m strong”. Oh, and along the way there is a creeping shame element that comes in as well.
Now, obviously; none of us would intentionally choose to hold onto this kind of belief. And it is tangled up with other biological needs for survival and beliefs about social or societal rejection which unchecked can feel life threatening. So with the clear intention of Self-Care, of accepting challenges for the valid gift that they are, and honoring the intelligence of the Universe, Source, Ancestors, etc., I am willing to “be” with this new clarity. I am choosing to expand my awareness to include this pattern AND learn from the information it has to offer me. I am willing to feel the sadness that practicing this has been protecting me from by disguising it as a justifiable disappointment. I am willing to feel the injustice of the situation I am a part of. Just feel it – without giving my power away with blame or future tripping. To allow myself to be present to what is right here right now and not diffuse it or mask it any longer.
I will ask for help from an experienced person that I trust completely.
I will grow into my full Self, my fullest potential, my purpose for being here this lifetime.
I will have clarity about those around me without blame and with clear boundaries – to benefit both of us.
I will say “yes” to happiness, self respect, self confidence, and personal power.
I will welcome being alone.
I will release my dependence on others’ approval.
I will empower myself and through that course, others in the process.
Celebration, Acknowledgement & Gratitude
As we edge closer to the end of the year 2022, I feel a pause and a reflection come in to me. I feel appreciation for so many gifts in my life.
I have been alone much of my life. I don’t mean there weren’t other people around me, I mean I felt different and unseen. Along the way I have received guides and mentors who have been paramount in my growth. But you each are a companion for me in this mindful journey and are truly a gift.
You are Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, friend, and confidant.
You carry love and high-intention for Life in your hearts wherever you go. It guides your choice of words, your mindful self-care, and your willingness to assist others.
You have answers, gathered from experience and education. And you also have questions and scars from dangerous travels in your journey that you have survived.
You have fear as your courage is becoming known and tears that are joy finally coming home.
You have freedoms which sometimes feel overwhelming and confinement that is also supportive.
You travel your days in hope and vision despite uncertainty and self doubt.
You are ever-ready to be helpful to others along the way.
You look for beauty and create beauty where there is none.
You are the sowers of tomorrow, the bringers of the dawn.
I am honored to be in your company and pray that you hold yourself in high regard.
I am grateful to witness your willingness and your strength.
You inspire and encourage me along my travels as a result of our shared time together.
You are a Master.
You are a Creator.
You are an Alchemist.
You are an essential piece in this wheel of Life.
I see you.
I hear you and feel you.
I relate to you.
And I hold deep love for you.
As I read these words, the tears begin. I feel them directed to each of you! And yet, I know you are my mirror too. What would it be like to begin the day, and say them in the mirror…? What a gift that would be?
I invite you to reread this in your quiet time, meditation, or gentle movement practice.
Choosing Closeness
Most of us, if not all; are looking for deeper connection in our relationships. We can sometimes wonder, how we can accomplish that in our busy lives. I am one of those people wanting to develop deeper connections in relationships, all of them! And I will admit that it has brought up a series of questions and feelings.
Referencing one of the strongest bonds in human life; mother and child; we see clearly the connection is built on openness, vulnerability, and love. Although this is not the same dynamic as many other relationships, there is a common thread. Let’s explore that here.
It starts with discerning a few things. Beginning with an awareness of the people you feel safe with, respect, and trust that they have your best interest at heart. This is paramount. Then, being willing to be seen and heard which is vulnerable to some degree is essential for closeness. When we come from our loving heart, we move with compassion in the world. Compassion for others and ourselves; compassion for this journey in all of it’s simple and complex details. If however, we have not shown compassion and understanding to ourselves – have not developed self acceptance; then we will practice some form of deception in our relationships.
We have all experienced rejections in small and significant ways through our life thus far. And when these experiences are not fully “digested” or processed, they often remain in our belief systems as something to avoid; and the closeness is no longer tolerated due to the risk of pain. Being in a practice of self acceptance is just that, a practice. It is accompanied by truth, humility, and most of all self-forgiveness. When we are aware of ourselves, truthfully – we will not be as easily offended when others reference it. We will cultivate a sense of comfort and resilience around our strengths and weaknesses. And we often become appreciative and open to collaboration with others; realizing our own limitations.
There is a distinct difference between collaboration and being a burden to others. Inviting a collaboration or asking for help in some way, is not obligating the other. If it is truly a question, then the answer could be “yes” or “no” and we are open equally to both. When we get attached to our preferences or feel desperate for things to go as we would like, there becomes a “sticky” surface to traverse and communication gets compromised often resulting in discord by one or both.
I heard a phrase that really stuck for me. “Whether you feel like shit, or THE Shit, either way – it’s ego!” Wow, that’s clear. We often associate behaviors of arrogance or even confidence as ego, self-importance and the like. But it is also equally true of behaviors that stem from feeling “less than”. Right? Ego certainly has it’s role in keeping us alive, but if left to run things, will make a mess of it. Something to ponder.
Now, let’s also consider how it feels to you when you are in collaboration or even helping someone out of your own choice. It is a human need to feel a sense of contribution, and it can feel great! So, when we reach out, ask for help, or offer an idea of collaboration which invites another closer; we are inviting the other to have that great feeling! It is literally a gift – for both. And it cultivates a bond of closeness. It is an exchange of energy.
Fall Brings Change
November seems to be ripe energetically for quick and sharp changes for the purpose of realignment. That sure qualifies in my world! How about you? I appreciated the Lee Harris November Energy Update arriving in my email on the 1st – it was so validating! If you are interested, here is the link and you can skip through the promo bits at the end.)
On the first day of November, I encountered an issue with a person that felt like walking into a minefield. It was definitely a power shift I couldn’t have anticipated and it has no obvious “win-win” remedy. It was also at the worst logistical time, and that’s life – ever moving, shifting, and changing.
The inflammatory issue with this person for me was at the edge of overwhelming, and then progressed from there to the point where I did my best to manage my fear responses and the needed communication. I found that “floaty” place where I know there’s nothing else I can do, it’s not in my control and it’s going to be what it’s going to be. A feeling between the acknowledgement of powerlessness to control outcomes and complete tranquility, meets sadness and grief. It was a relief to be sure, from what I had been feeling. So humbling to recognize and accept my limits and allow my ego to rest.
I have been remembering my tools to center and ground and they are more essential than before, and yet to be honest; I felt flooded by so much intensity that it was like being lost in a dream. It was difficult to gain my traction. The actual experience of something is so different from the intellectual dialogue about it! I remembered my IFS (Internal Family Systems) training to maintain an awareness of the sensations, where they are in my body, and track them with compassionate curiosity; and that helped keep me from sinking into full on “flounder”.
I share this encounter with you because it may be supportive somehow; to disclose a process and dynamic that may be unfolding in your life or around your life. In my case, I recognize as I track my response patterns; that I have a tendency to take full responsibility for everything, then show up as best I can to get through it, and then realize the bigger picture value of the shift. Now, as I reflect on this situation, I am feeling it “directed” toward someone else and I am affected “by association”. I realize this is a “thing”. This will be happening to many of us as we are close to people who are part of a life changing shift or lesson and it’s imperative for us to maintain our center, our own stability and connection to Source throughout the process. Wow, this is a hard one.
This song illustrates my intense feelings. Blessed Motion by Annie Zylstra.
Every Step is Part of the Journey
Life has become very full and very fast. I have several collaborative and intentionally restorative relationships that I am active in, and of late I have been made aware of a theme. It has to do with respect, or rather not feeling that I am being respected. I am aware that this theme has been a long time companion of mine through many circumstances, ages, and relationships. To be clear, I practice accommodation, I habitually accommodate the needs of others.
I realize it has helped me keep the “peace”, to smooth things over, and stabilize situations for myself and others that I care about. And, I am continually in the position to accommodate others who don’t keep agreements to show up or who cut corners. As long as I am willing to accommodate, there will be a reliance on me to do so. Now, I’m beginning to understand that my respect and willingness to support others’ needs is in some ways a disrespect and lack of support for me. I need to find a new dance step or new partners to dance with!! As with most things, I realize that I hold the power; the power of awareness, choice within any situation. This is not about blaming the other or the circumstance; aka. a pity party.
Have you ever felt like you’d really like to learn something or pursue a career in a particular area, or follow a calling, except that life circumstances won’t permit it? And have you ever challenged that? Like, why not? Who’s stopping you? Well, I have and it turns out in my case, that I am the one stopping me. I’m stopping me from branching out, expanding or exploring because of how my absence will impact others or how I will meet resistance. It’s clear to me that my self respect hasn’t been adequate and that is the missing piece, rather than others’ lack of respect for me. But how does that work?
When I operate in the world from a belief system )conscious or not) that I am inadequate, not worthy, or other labels like these, I become aligned with that energy. In a Nature example I might put out the “Omega” vibe rather than the other end of the spectrum the “Alpha” vibe. This is only for illustrative purposes. I’m not suggesting that instead I pretend or act as if; although I have no judgement if that works for others. What I am suggesting is that I align myself with my own respect, without a dependency on other to do so for me to feel respected. Such as, notice my emotional or physical feelings after a scenario unfolds, to notice the subtle ques in my body and heart. Maybe something is feeling unresolved and my mind is turning it over and over as if to figure out “what’s wrong”. This may be an indicator that I have something to take a look at on my part that was injurious in some way to the other, or to myself. And, it may be a situation where I have not spoken of my needs or boundaries that resulted in them not being recognized. With that awareness I can identify what might have worked better and be ready the next time. I might also choose to use this as a learning experience and communicate how I’m feeling to my friend or colleague. It is a bit vulnerable but an open-hearted investment into the relationship. And it’s fair to note that some relationships are not at a level of significance for this type of investment.
With my awareness and attention to my-Self, I can also review and renew my role as primary sovereign and check how I have been respecting myself. How DO I respect myself? I know it is not my intention to form a hard exterior. That would only hold me in jail inside. I want to cultivate and maintain an identity that is beyond the limits of my personality or chronological age. I want it to encompass my soul and spirit, my values, what I stand for and hold that as my guide posts of what I align to and hold myself accountable for.
How do YOU respect yourself?
This level of curiosity, awareness, and personal responsibility can be challenging at times. It causes a dip in energy and perspective; we might not be feeling as loving or optimistic as other times. This is certainly true for me. And when I’m in a low point, I want to have tenderness and respond with love and compassion rather than to try quick fixes or try to hide it while stuffing it deeper inside. I want to remind myself that I came here for a reason, I matter, I am valid and worthy just by “being” – and not because of what I do, produce, or are approved of by others. This, this is also part of my journey here and part of what I am here to learn. This is an essential part of the freedom and autonomy I seek. In some ways it actually facilitates what it is I am dreaming of and calling in, it helps ready me to receive that which I deeply desire. “I am willing. I say YES to life. I am open to learning how to connect, understand and cherish myself with the love and respect I deserve.”
Opening to Synchronicity
I’m open to synchronicity. I love glancing at the clock and it’s 11:11, or 12:12, or 3:33! It gives me a thrill to think that at just that moment, I had the impulse to look! Like what is that about? Is it a sign that relates to information downloads or a message of some kind? What is it when we think of someone and then they call? Or we’re getting dressed for our day, flash on a person or situation we encounter that day only to say to ourselves “Why did I think that?”. I am not here to tell you what these things mean; that’s for you to decide for yourself. What I would like to offer this gathering is about subtlety, subtle energy and how we can play with it.
We are a composite of energy and matter that is in constant vibration. A lie detector test which we’ve likely seen on TV before, is a crude example of how our energy or vibration can be measured or viewed. It fluctuates, there is a rhythm, and accompanying “feelings”. Often times there is a feeling of uneasiness that can’t be logically explained. I remember while living in San Jose, I went to visit a friend at an apartment complex one day. I parked in the parking lot and as I was walking to her building I had a strange sensation; my footsteps stopped with my left foot in mid-air. As I noticed this and I looked down; where my foot would have stepped down – was a young coiled snake, basking in the sun! Whoa! How did my body know what “I” was unaware of??
Turns out that our body is a big receiving dish of sorts. We “know” things at a body level that we cognitively don’t know yet. Amazing huh? It is an innate awareness that can be influenced through our life experience. This awareness is very different than “thought” or words. And the measuring of it doesn’t work the same as linear thought or matter does. This might make it harder to put into words, but no less real.
There is much awareness around self care these days and it’s certainly a worthwhile endeavor. Our being is influenced by our physical environment, and also by the psychological environment we live in, etc. And, it is influenced by where we focus our attention. There’s a saying “Where your attention goes, will grow” and “What you resist will persist”. This may be the ultimate aspect of self-care! I think this is something we’ve all had some form of experience with.
When I “see” my body as my holy antenna, my sensory organ; there are a couple of things that are apparent to me right away. My receptivity is very different when I am first awake compared to when I am super tired, or when I am scared vs relaxed. I also notice an internal aspect to those examples that are perhaps farther reaching still. My receptivity to subtle energy is thoroughly impacted when I tell myself “I must be wrong, again” or when I notice something and stay neutral and open to it. You might say that actually all of our senses are affected by whether we have preconceived judgements or open neutrality. It took me so long to lessen my habit of telling myself negative or unsupportive comments that I had heard others tell me! At some point I realized “Oh, they didn’t know or understand it and were just trying to protect me”. Okay, that makes more sense. Shifting from the “Am I” to the “I Am” can be both subtle and complete.
I am practicing cultivating a comfortable feeling inside my body these days. It can be noticing that I am safe, or that I need a shawl or blanket, it could be feeling the amazing feeling of a breath coming deep inside me fully. I’ve been asking for more pleasure in my life, less struggle, fear and anxiety. I think at first I had a mental picture or expectation of what that would look like. And at times, it felt like a struggle to call to mind all of the things that had stress around them, to then let them go! Another “to-do” item on my daily list… But, taking it slower, loosening my grip on the list of things I “have to do” and really giving my attention over to the sweet pleasures within my day like seeing my cat curled up in the patio chair, listening to the birds outdoors, or just stopping all thought to be still for a moment of not-knowing; has been rejuvenating. And I feel like my “senses” are more awake somehow (or the dull roar is quiet enough to hear the small voice within). I feel it an act of empowerment to cultivate the vibration I carry with me. I’m also very interested in the creative aspects related to the way we feel as I move through my life… Hmmm. More mystery!
Empowerment is Personal
We’ve been talking about equality; with ourselves and others, and looking at a few of the practical aspects of each type of situation.
I think it’s fair to say that there can be and are a variety of perspectives too. And of course, none are wrong. However, it may become clear that alignment exists more with one person or situation more than another.
I want to look at the piece around the point when we now have clarity of a misalignment with a friend, colleague, or family member. This us where the choice is. This is the “power” point that will be pivotal.
For some of us, we’ve been conditioned to conform to others expectations instead of our own sense of integrity or what feels supportive for ourselves. This practice creates a sort of blind spot and we overlook our choices in the matter. But with practice, support and encouragement with clarity, compassion, and willingness to learn we will adapt our awareness and skills.
Noticing in the moment, by some means (a physical or emotional feeling, a familiar dynamic or situation, or inner guidance of some kind), we can exercise intentional creativity. This stage is both powerful and rewarding, and can light up aspects of needed release of those people or interactions to clear space for healing.
Personally, I recently had an experience with friends that I realized I was out of integrity with. I don’t want to “divorce” these friends but I recognize a need for a different alignment. I can honor my love and care for them, for myself and have my focus be on the most aligned circumstance now. This perspective makes it easier to problem solve!
So, at this point in my situation, I’ve gotten clear there needs to be a realignment for me and gotten clear on what specific aspects that need to shift and now. I’m aware that this is important enough to not be rushed too, so I’m allowing myself the time and space to flesh it out without abandoning it. And now I get to choose how and when to speak with my friends and disclose my needs to those involved. And there is a grief that arises, I’m aware that something is ending. A loss of an expectation or a dream is still a loss. It will help me to be clear about that rather than associate grief as an indicator of something I shouldn’t be doing or some abuse at the hands of another.
Much of the time when I feel “stuck” it’s related to indecision, not being willing to act on what I know is true for me. So with my upgraded commitment of Self-Care, I apply action to intention in this area for myself. I can cultivate my relationship with my-Self around trust and dependability by taking the role of the one who listens, pay attention, cares and protects my own needs rather than projecting that role onto another less appropriate person. Give voice to and audience with those parts that feel “pinched” in some way; restoring loss of energy and softening my edges.
This particular situation for me happens to be one where once I’ve unearthed the details around my feelings, needs, and intentions for going forward do not require a confrontation and agreement by any one outside of me. It is simply an act of personal empowerment. The personal showing up with me, myself, and I; to responsibly respond to the situation. I don’t need” someone outside myself to “understand” or behave differently for me to feel ok. I can rely on myself for those needs to be met.
Wouldn’t it be GREAT to discover that much of the sensation of being “trapped” was related to staying in our previous limited state? Like the Tarot card 8 of Swords depicted by an image of a woman blindfolded, loosely bound in cloth and standing alone in front of a sort of fence of swords on both sides of her. She is submitting to this “trapped” situation and can free herself easily. She can escape on any side of the fence of swords. But unchecked, she assumes she is trapped and behaves so. This card is about the call to empowerment. Choosing for ourselves to be the one “response”- able.
I offer this perspective to each of you for your consideration in hopes that we may share many perspectives on the topic of self-care and personal response – ability.