I’m open to synchronicity. I love glancing at the clock and it’s 11:11, or 12:12, or 3:33! It gives me a thrill to think that at just that moment, I had the impulse to look! Like what is that about? Is it a sign that relates to information downloads or a message of some kind? What is it when we think of someone and then they call? Or we’re getting dressed for our day, flash on a person or situation we encounter that day only to say to ourselves “Why did I think that?”. I am not here to tell you what these things mean; that’s for you to decide for yourself. What I would like to offer this gathering is about subtlety, subtle energy and how we can play with it.
We are a composite of energy and matter that is in constant vibration. A lie detector test which we’ve likely seen on TV before, is a crude example of how our energy or vibration can be measured or viewed. It fluctuates, there is a rhythm, and accompanying “feelings”. Often times there is a feeling of uneasiness that can’t be logically explained. I remember while living in San Jose, I went to visit a friend at an apartment complex one day. I parked in the parking lot and as I was walking to her building I had a strange sensation; my footsteps stopped with my left foot in mid-air. As I noticed this and I looked down; where my foot would have stepped down – was a young coiled snake, basking in the sun! Whoa! How did my body know what “I” was unaware of??
Turns out that our body is a big receiving dish of sorts. We “know” things at a body level that we cognitively don’t know yet. Amazing huh? It is an innate awareness that can be influenced through our life experience. This awareness is very different than “thought” or words. And the measuring of it doesn’t work the same as linear thought or matter does. This might make it harder to put into words, but no less real.
There is much awareness around self care these days and it’s certainly a worthwhile endeavor. Our being is influenced by our physical environment, and also by the psychological environment we live in, etc. And, it is influenced by where we focus our attention. There’s a saying “Where your attention goes, will grow” and “What you resist will persist”. This may be the ultimate aspect of self-care! I think this is something we’ve all had some form of experience with.
When I “see” my body as my holy antenna, my sensory organ; there are a couple of things that are apparent to me right away. My receptivity is very different when I am first awake compared to when I am super tired, or when I am scared vs relaxed. I also notice an internal aspect to those examples that are perhaps farther reaching still. My receptivity to subtle energy is thoroughly impacted when I tell myself “I must be wrong, again” or when I notice something and stay neutral and open to it. You might say that actually all of our senses are affected by whether we have preconceived judgements or open neutrality. It took me so long to lessen my habit of telling myself negative or unsupportive comments that I had heard others tell me! At some point I realized “Oh, they didn’t know or understand it and were just trying to protect me”. Okay, that makes more sense. Shifting from the “Am I” to the “I Am” can be both subtle and complete.
I am practicing cultivating a comfortable feeling inside my body these days. It can be noticing that I am safe, or that I need a shawl or blanket, it could be feeling the amazing feeling of a breath coming deep inside me fully. I’ve been asking for more pleasure in my life, less struggle, fear and anxiety. I think at first I had a mental picture or expectation of what that would look like. And at times, it felt like a struggle to call to mind all of the things that had stress around them, to then let them go! Another “to-do” item on my daily list… But, taking it slower, loosening my grip on the list of things I “have to do” and really giving my attention over to the sweet pleasures within my day like seeing my cat curled up in the patio chair, listening to the birds outdoors, or just stopping all thought to be still for a moment of not-knowing; has been rejuvenating. And I feel like my “senses” are more awake somehow (or the dull roar is quiet enough to hear the small voice within). I feel it an act of empowerment to cultivate the vibration I carry with me. I’m also very interested in the creative aspects related to the way we feel as I move through my life… Hmmm. More mystery!
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