November seems to be ripe energetically for quick and sharp changes for the purpose of realignment. That sure qualifies in my world! How about you? I appreciated the Lee Harris November Energy Update arriving in my email on the 1st – it was so validating! If you are interested, here is the link and you can skip through the promo bits at the end.)
On the first day of November, I encountered an issue with a person that felt like walking into a minefield. It was definitely a power shift I couldn’t have anticipated and it has no obvious “win-win” remedy. It was also at the worst logistical time, and that’s life – ever moving, shifting, and changing.
The inflammatory issue with this person for me was at the edge of overwhelming, and then progressed from there to the point where I did my best to manage my fear responses and the needed communication. I found that “floaty” place where I know there’s nothing else I can do, it’s not in my control and it’s going to be what it’s going to be. A feeling between the acknowledgement of powerlessness to control outcomes and complete tranquility, meets sadness and grief. It was a relief to be sure, from what I had been feeling. So humbling to recognize and accept my limits and allow my ego to rest.
I have been remembering my tools to center and ground and they are more essential than before, and yet to be honest; I felt flooded by so much intensity that it was like being lost in a dream. It was difficult to gain my traction. The actual experience of something is so different from the intellectual dialogue about it! I remembered my IFS (Internal Family Systems) training to maintain an awareness of the sensations, where they are in my body, and track them with compassionate curiosity; and that helped keep me from sinking into full on “flounder”.
I share this encounter with you because it may be supportive somehow; to disclose a process and dynamic that may be unfolding in your life or around your life. In my case, I recognize as I track my response patterns; that I have a tendency to take full responsibility for everything, then show up as best I can to get through it, and then realize the bigger picture value of the shift. Now, as I reflect on this situation, I am feeling it “directed” toward someone else and I am affected “by association”. I realize this is a “thing”. This will be happening to many of us as we are close to people who are part of a life changing shift or lesson and it’s imperative for us to maintain our center, our own stability and connection to Source throughout the process. Wow, this is a hard one.
This song illustrates my intense feelings. Blessed Motion by Annie Zylstra.
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