Recently, I’ve become more aware of how many of my friends long for community. Not a chat room of strangers who have time for quips and wit; but real connections with people who genuinely care and have shared interests and intentions. It reminds me of a workshop I took where all present participated in a meditation in order to connect with our individual deepest fear, which turned out to be the fear of rejection and being alone; for all 175of us. We all had the exact same fear! We are wired for connection. We are biologically programmed to be in relationships, tribes, and communities.
So often, life’s experiences can include feelings of pain and risk. And it’s natural to feel the impulse to protect ourselves – survival instincts are hard-wired on some level. And yet those instincts can disconnect us from people and opportunities we need or that would feed our growth and well-being.
Here’s a personal story to illustrate: Early in my life I experienced my home as unsafe. As a child I would just be outside, in the tree or hiding out with the dogs. I felt safe when I was alone. In the house, I would find ways to be undetected which I had deduced early on; as a way to be safe from harm or stress. Fast forward, now an adult; I often deal with the voices inside who still tell me to hold back, don’t stand out or stand up, don’t be big or bold because that makes me a target.
Recently at a workshop, from a place of benevolence I added the offering of “Tarot Readings” to a list of offerings being made within the group. Later realizing that as I stepped out of the sidelines and that I would potentially be “at risk”, my inner parts shared their discomfort with my offer. After some time with the “inner committee”, I followed through with my offering. I)or “we”) chose to be willing to show up, stand out, be open to new possibilities and to trust myself to respond to whatever came from that.
In this case, the result was so much more positive than I could have imagined. And I realize how easy it has been for me in the past to talk myself out of situations of “risk” (aka. opportunities for growth and healing). Our willingness to be seen and heard, with our “less-than-perfect” offerings are the very actions that extend permission to others to do the same. And together, one by one, we make up the families, tribes, and communities that exist in the world. And each time we choose to show up exactly as we are, we add to the conditioning of our make up in a supportive and self actualizing way. “To build confidence, one needs courage. To build courage, one needs challenge.”
“Allow yourself to be true to who you are. Do not try to hide your inner light and beauty. You are meant to be seen, Your soul is nurtured and protected by your love for the Divine.” – Alana Fairchild, Lolo, Earth Warriors Oracle
May we each recognize new opportunities not as risks but portals to new aspects of life! May we share our confidence and courage with each other as a means to balance and support those times when some of us need a helping hand or inspiration. May we add strength and beauty to our growing community of wisdom carriers!
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