We are always at home

Home. We are always at home.
When I was 8, I wanted a bicycle. So my Mom bought flats of Lifesavers and gum, and my older sister and I walked from door to door selling them for $.25 a piece. When I had saved up $8, we went to the Flea Market and I got a bike. It was teal colored and had a kind of shelf over the back tire to sit a bag or crate. Now I needed to learn how to ride a two wheeler.

I had been practicing for a while, with someone holding that shelf bracket in the back and doing okay as long as they were there. One day my Mom was holding on running along behind and after a minute as I heard her telling me “Keep going” I realized her voice sounded far away. She had let go and I was riding by myself!! I guess she knew if I thought she was still holding on I would feel safer, more relaxed.

What if, most everything we “learn” we were actually remembering. How much better we can access what we are “re-membering” or reconnecting with, if we are open to it? When I thought my Mom was there, I didn’t have the chatter in my head telling me I was going to fall and hurt myself, or that I looked stupid with the handle bars wiggling back and forth. I didn’t feel alone.

Truth is, we are alone in this life, and we are never alone. Like planets hurling through space we are each on our very own orbit, as other “planets” are in their orbit. We literally are at home in ourself, our body, mind and spirit. We may not always feel at home with ourself though. Early stages of development in nature, begins with mimicking. We hear sounds and imitate, see movement and copy. As we grow, we naturally move out of that practice a bit and into one of initiation, exploration, and creativity. First survival, then sustain, then regenerate!

Establishing the sense of being at home with ourselves, takes practice and helpful support from those around us. Like my Mom helping me feel the weight and balance of my own body as I pedaled my bike. “Keep going” is part of the goal. As we encourage ourselves and each other to continue we offer a vote of confidence. Self mastery does not come from following others, although that may be very supportive at times. Self mastery can only develop from knowing oneself, which takes patience, perseverance and vulnerability along with movement, action, and risk. We get comfortable with ourselves by becoming familiar with the shadows and the light and looking curiously for the value of each. What gifts do they bring? What are their practical uses? How else can we use them for support and growth?

I did learn how to ride a two wheel bike, despite my own self doubt. My Mom would not let me quit and here’s the kicker. She never knew how to ride a bike herself! I love you Mom. Thank you for being willing to support my growth, beyond your own. I will do my best to emulate your courage, tenacity, and caring.

My invitation to you? Take a moment to sit quietly and allow a remembrance of a time or situation when you grew in a way you didn’t know you could. Think about how that might play out in your life now.

We are each living our best self at any given moment. The quality of that moment hinges on our access to balance and awareness. 

I ask myself, how am I being supported now? And am I paying attention to that support? Am I connecting with my own true “home”? And as I think this, I am home.