Although my mother “changed addresses” from this place 14 years ago, she is still a part of me. She had a tremendous influence over how I saw the world around me and inside me too. You never know how you will influence another in your path, but for sure; we all do. In her efforts to help me develop my conscience, she used to say “If everyone did what you do, would the world be a better place?” This probably was related to my cutting corners, or not following the rules or agreements within the family unit. It is tempting to think that “just this once” or “no one will care/know/find out.” It is definitely a stage in maturation to come to terms with accountability and responsibility for oneself. What I could let myself off the hook for isolated to just me, didn’t work when I considered this question of hers.
There is a darkness and separation that comes with the thought or belief that “what I do doesn’t really matter” and it’s like sourdough starter; it is very influential! This is one of the ways we give our power away, by not owning it, claiming the choices we do have and focusing on the ones we don’t have.
It’s also important to know the distinction between “freedom” and “reaction” although the visible action observed may appear the same or similar. Freedom operates independently. Reaction operates dependently. You see?
A child in the stage of life known as the “terrible two’s” is learning their power though opposition, by saying “No” to any direction. And the use of child psychology would allow someone to play with the direction, to influence the response. This is clearly based on the constant dependency in reaction. However, when someone individuates and becomes their “own person” we see their separation or surrender of dependency show up. We might describe them as someone who is mature, grounded, or confident.
How does that happen? How do we “get there”? Clearly it is not hinged on the chronological number of years we refer to as “age”. It is something else.
Reflecting back over my own life, this maturation was preceded by the discontent of the norm. The awareness of it’s obsolescence or corruption or injustice. I reached a gut wrenching point when I just couldn’t “go along with it” any more. And then I would think “there’s got to be a better way”. This moment is pivotal; it’s magic! It’s also tricky and risky and uncertain to figure it out on our own!! Without following along or getting someone else’s stamp of approval. What if it’s wrong or ridiculed or we are rejected for it?? Yep, that’s right. Those things could happen. And at some point they will. Some would say “Don’t get too hung up on failure.” Isn’t that pretty much how we each learned to walk!? Think about that for a moment…
We all have accomplished many, many things. Been victorious – survived countless hazards and dangers in our lifetime! And, there is no end to the possibilities left for us to learn.
This theme has been up for me. I’m becoming aware of and exploring how many different ways things might be handled. My grown daughter is withholding her contribution to paying rent. And although this change brings many emotions into the dynamics in the home, I have the opportunity to choose how I am with that. To look at the options available, what my values and goals include that will weigh in on the choice I make. She is doing “her” and I get to do “me”. Yes there is influence that we each have on the other, but we are here to choose our own experiences.
At the moment I am in the “great gestation” of the next birthing, I am swimming in the pool of different emotions like fear, anger, sadness; reflections, desires, and choosing the next stand I will take. And all the while tending to the fire of everyday life. I am invited to practice holding my own core and nurturing it with rest and beauty and love. I have another opportunity to consider my mothers wise words and choose for myself what I express into the energetic fabric of the planet.
And, astrologically, May will be a very different month for us. Four planets will be “out of bounds” which basically means they will be outside the ruling of the Sun. Venus, Mars, Mercury, and the Moon; all on their own, so to speak. They will embody a free, creative, unpredictable energy similar to Uranus. The probability for this is around 1%. In addition, Jupiter will ingress into Pisces for two and a half months bringing a much needed restoration of faith and optimism. Then it goes retrograde in June and then back into Aquarius in July until 2022 when it moves into Pisces for a year.
What could we do with this opportunity?
How could this influence things?
What relationship with influence do we have or could we foster?
What’s showing up in our lives now that we can respond to in a supportive way?
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