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“The soul always desires that which will most reveal its true nature.”
The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

When the world as we know it gets interrupted there are signs beforehand, indications, little things that we sometimes notice and sometimes not so much. But when it becomes obvious that things are different now, we know it. And what happens next is most important.

Placing our attention on what we want to feel, on our heart and the deep core feelings that are there to guide our senses, is powerful. This is different than the feelings that come and go based on external impulses. Those deep core desires are consistent throughout our life. And when we tap into those we feel a connection, an empowerment, and a clarity that fuels and guides our choices in a way that supports life.

That is not to say there won’t be uncertainty. Uncertainty is appropriate and valid. It’s true that with aliveness, there is nothing cast for certain because of free will. However, uncertainty is not the same as self doubt. Self doubt is subversive, it’s thick and heavy, it stops us like quicksand. Self doubt is not supportive or productive and needs to be recognized and addressed quickly. The presence of it indicates a need for self care, perhaps some of the basic needs have slipped or something at a deep level is not being tended and we are not trusting ourselves as a result. It might be stuffing our feelings of sadness or grief rather than asking for a friend to witness us. It could be not acting on those desires for beauty in our personal space or a shrinking back from speaking our truth when we know we need to.

True authenticity is a personal “super power” and it’s available and needs to be cultivated. It needs to be honed, sharpened, with intention. And when it is, you can feel it, inside and out. We become clear, open to what is, and boundaries are a natural result. To be operating from our own true authentic selves is to be in alignment with our true nature, our soul, and our spirit. 

Now more than ever, we are influencing the future for us all. We want to be in our best Self as we dream the future together. We are being called forward to meet ourselves in the present and tap into our innate strength of heart. Our ancestors have invested theirs in us today. No time now for coasting, floating along, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best.

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” – June Jordon

It’s time we wake up to our true authentic selves and the personal power that it encompasses. And together, there is more goodness possible than we could ever imagine separately.

As our world is getting smaller with less social interaction and more time alone or at home; it is also getting bigger in that our connections are expanding outside our normal routines through the internet, zoom, etc. We are adapting our needs and desires for creation into new arenas. Life goes on.

We see polarization in our politics, and with new intense awareness around racial equality, gender equality, sexual orientation equality, etc. and there is no “solution” to this unrest insight. Our senses are on high alert. We are experiencing fatigue and confusion; and possibly overwhelm. We know it is important to attend to all that is present, but also need to “just be.”

It is a good time, to find our center, to hold what we know to be true with an equal measure of mystery, the awareness that we also don’t know for sure what else is also true.
We need to make sure we “have the right shoes on” as Aaron Johnson from Holistic Resistance said. “This is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.” We need to be comfortable for the duration of shifting and chaos; however long it takes. Because, Life goes on.
I’m noticing the benefit of staying a little “soft” with my opinions and reactions these days. It’s part of my conscious choice to increase self love and acceptance. I am choosing to slow my reactions, to be more mindful; allowing myself the opportunity to act with intention rather than habit.

My recent choice for self care was to subscribe to Gaia online for access to their great talks and other resources of education and support. I was on YouTube and I saw an ad with Matias De Stephano, a young man from South America I remembered hearing many years ago; who was born “awake”. Meaning he came in remembering all of his past lives and the history of the universe. He is here to share what he knows. If you aren’t familiar with him and would like to check out a video, just search him by name in your favorite browser.

Another bright spot recently is a Netflix program called Down to Earth which is filmed in different parts of the globe, interviewing people successfully finding new, sustainable and healing ways of living, learning, and supporting life on the planet. Loving it!

I am really loving the connections we’ve made and things we have shared with one another. It feels supportive and so important to me. I “see” it as a wave that is building momentum, carrying us forward. I am constantly reminded that I am not alone and I want to tell you; neither are you.

I recently was reminded of the steady decline of a loved one’s short term memory. So, I’ve had some deep reckoning with this change. What to do, how to interact, how to support and how to prepare. The grief and fear and faith that swirls around like tie dye colors, are real.


One of my go-to supports in book form, is A Course in Miracles Made Easy by Alan Cohen. Here’s what I opened to: “The ego is obsessed by planning because it believes that if it doesn’t control everything something terrible will happen. But the exact opposite is true. If the ego doesn’t control everything, something wonderful will happen! … More accurately, the ego’s preoccupation with control keeps you unaware that something wonderful is already happening. The only correct expectation of the future is one of limitless good. [The mind that plans] does not see that here and now is everything it needs to guarantee a future quite unlike the past, without a continuity of any ol ideas and sick beliefs. Anticipation plays no part at all, for present confidence directs the way.” -W-135,16:4-5

I need these touchstones to remind me that I’m not alone, there is a greater design at work, and I can rest into that reality; while being present and responsive. That’s a kind of independence.

I know this situation is not unlike what many of us are dealing with now in our lives of significant change and uncertainty. We have established and nurtured a relationship with each other that allows us to witness and mirror our experiences and wisdom. It bolsters me, keeps me buoyant and grounded.

What is touching your grief and faith these days?
And what is offering you support, uplifting and grounding?
How you feel is important and I value this opportunity to connect deeply in a positive and supportive way.

Perhaps you might want to take a few moments now and journal a few thoughts or feelings.

Feeling into our collective space, there is a climate of unrest, of stepping out rather than falling back, spikes of emotion and expression whether marching on the street or making ourselves heard in relationship. I feel a need to calibrate my needs and personal medicine.

This Laura Sandage song IS medicine for me ( Laura Sandage, What is not me). She is an amazing woman who became empowered through her personal work with her ancestors, and from that center offers her creative gifts some of which are song.

In perfect timing, I watched an interview with Iyanla Vanzant, and appreciated her recounting an experience she had with Oprah where they had a significant disagreement that lasted 11 years, and then was resolved on the air when they had an open and vulnerable dialog (31:00). It included a piece very personal to me which I’ll share on our call if there is time. Powerful sharing, here’s the link if you’re interested. ( Lee Harris with guest Iyanla Vanzant)

With a steady diet of educating myself on cultural perspectives and white fragility, I feel humbled and impatient for real and meaningful change in our greater community. I also am beginning to understand more deeply this issue is not about the color of our skin. That is the focus at the moment and a worthy one. But I feel a calling to for that and more.

I want to be clear about a few things. I stand for LOVE.
I believe Black Lives Matter. I stand for Black Lives.
I believe Indigenous Lives Matter. I stand for Indigenous Lives.
I believe People of Color Matter. I stand for People of Color.
I stand for a safe just world for Black Indigenous and People of Color.
I believe a just, healthy beautiful world is possible.
I stand for the health of our earth.
I stand for the unborn generations.
I believe it is time to amplify the voices of Black Indigenous and People of Color.
I commit to amplifying these voices.
I stand for the deconstruction of systemic oppression: through investing and donating money to businesses, organizations and people making a difference, through voting for social change, through my continued education on anti-racism, white supremacy and white fragility, through standing up for and with Black, Indigenous and People of Color.
I stand for diversity, equity and inclusion.
I commit to continued education to make sure I make choices that back this up.
I stand for doing my best, knowing I will make mistakes.
I commit to owning those mistakes with humility and compassion.
I commit to lean in to conflict and discomfort and to leave a place at the table to work it out.
I commit to checking my privilege and owning my judgements.
I commit to bringing more love, joy and luminosity into the world.
I commit to the 7th generations.
I commit to peace.
I commit to change.
I commit to holding a magnificent vision of the future that includes us all: human, plant, animal, earth, mircro-organism.
I stand for LOVE.
I believe in LOVE

The unfolding events over the past week or so in response to the death of George Floyd has gained the attention of many world wide. There is evidence of rage, anger, sadness and a lack of tolerance for inequality perhaps never seen before. The subject of racism or anti-racisim is a deep and complex issue, although we all knew at a young age about what is fair. That, is not complicated. 

No matter where you are on the issue of equality and the end of violence in any form as a result of racial inequality; you are experiencing a deeper awareness. Perhaps a friend who has experienced directly the disadvantage due to their skin color, or an acquaintance who in-spite of the violence and grief, seems untouched in their daily life. Perhaps like me you care deeply and feel helpless in the face of an issue so big that it seems insurmountable. 
I was speaking to a friend this morning and the topic came up. I admitted this feeling of helplessness and also that I am willing to learn. I’m willing to look at this issue including the privilege I have, to make that optional. I’m willing to see the world and my community through a new lens and get more and more clear about the ways that I participate in the silence rather actively showing up in favor of those things I genuinely value for myself and others. And I am willing to invest in my own education, to catch up if you will, on what can be done in a reasonable practical way.

It’s a humbling experience to realize not only have I lived a life of privilege, I didn’t realize it. Sure I was grateful to not have the experiences I see in movies that others have, but I didn’t notice it in my school, at work, or social settings. Things we consider “normal” become invisible.

It’s okay to start where we are. We have many times in our lives woke up to an issue that we seemed ill-prepared for and taken it on one step at a time. “One foot in front of the other” is how it works. As women we are not strangers to the concept or experience of inequality. It’s time to drop the shame and know we have the heart, the skills, and the determination to stand up for the sacredness of Life!

We are all connected. We know this on an intellectual level. We share the same Earth, air and water. And our connection goes beyond the physical realms. I see the collective as one body with a complex variety of parts and systems that when working in tandem, in harmony, brings health and happiness. You get the idea. However, in that same analogy there are many examples of dexterity and coordination between different parts to accomplish a single goal (brushing teeth for example works better with hands than feet). Well perhaps this is a case where people of color CAN’T do what needs to be done to heal this! Perhaps it will only be healed with the participation of the rest of us. It’s literally not a black problem. This affects “the whole body”, all of us and none will be at peace until we all are working toward that end.

So I’m reading and watching a few things I will list below. Every day is a new opportunity to call in more alignment to my own integrity. Honestly, I feel this is a call to action and by my willingness to listen for what is called for and honor the sacredness of life, I will be more enlivened.

Treasures surface. Tucked away in safe keeping, they wait for us to discover them. Like magic, at the perfect time, perhaps by accident, we connect with them. Almost three decades ago, I wrote this:

Water When It Travels
Water when it travels offers up it’s sound.
Whether a quiet song or booming thunder
I am silenced before long.
The melody, the beauty, the tenacity and strength,
it travels any distance along the endless path.
No thought, no reason no future and no past, only flowing,
mingling, sharing, of life that is so vast.
May I often be reminded as I go along my way,
the companions that shared their voice within my day.
And all along our travels near or far beyond,
let’s offer up our new voice, whether booming or quiet song;
like water when it travels.

We are all traveling in many ways; hurling through space, and walking through situations and relationships, having new encounters everyday.

What does our voice sound like to ourselves?
Do we claim and use our voice?
Are we aware of the flowing feminine energy that accepts and carries whatever is at hand?

Finding this was like finding a part of myself. I didn’t remember it until I reconnected with the words and feelings again. Like an old friend, our writings hold a piece of our reflection.

As we are moving through this time of staying close to home, we may still be feeling the shock waves of energy from the world around us. Even though we are in some form of isolation we are still energetically connected. With more down time we are able to easily reflect on our lives and relationships and may be experiencing issues and things coming up. They may come through the body if we are only ever willing to slow down when that is the case. It can be helpful to notice what your pattern of response is with that scenario, and how you respond. Responding without judgement or resistance is important for growth and for learning what this wisdom offers you.

People pleasing is bound to be in the mix at some point and more so for some than others. We may not feel good about socializing on zoom, for example, or taking part in some other aspect and feel it difficult to say no to a friend. There may be a feeling of guilt associated or some other emotion that we would prefer to avoid. But it’s part of the package of learning how to practice self care and it will get easier with practice.
If we are experiencing a difficult relationship over a long period of time, and continually trying to love and light our way through it, perhaps check and see if we are negotiating with ourselves to stay there, to keep it afloat by way of our changing and adapting. If so, it isn’t a sustainable relationship and we may need an honest look at it. And by really being honest we free ourselves up to align with our own core truth. And if we say no to someone wanting us to say yes, think of how out of touch that person is to us energetically. Perhaps the person isn’t very much of an empath, an unconscious extrovert; when we give them the gift of saying no, it frees both people up to get what they each really need, where there will be an alignment genuinely.

In any moment, to ask what is truly the most loving thing to do can be a key to the overall very best to give yourself and the other. Always, that will be self care for us. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do WILL be uncomfortable for the other person and demonstrate perhaps a new possibility they wouldn’t have chosen.

Recognizing the pattern of feeling exhausted when those we are caring for are fine, might be an indicator of some needed empowerment. Maybe we are assuming too big portion of responsibility in the relationship and its time to look at how to hand off and empower others to more self care, or learning to care for their siblings or whatever the situation may be.
Inspirations that are drawing your attention, anything a bit ambitious or that there is no prior reference for, is commonly responded to with an inner critic or fear voice that speaks up to “protect” us because the growth is coming. Ask “what are you protecting me from”. The fact that the voice is coming up is an indication that learning and growing is just ahead.

Stop and listen to the heart, the wind outside, to one another, to the changing patterns of this mysterious life. It comes moment after moment, out of nothing, and disappears into nothing. Live with less grasping and more appreciation and caring.
– Jack Kornfield

The storm of change, it has been. I hope wherever you are, you are safe. This very unusual time, has been a force to be reckoned with. It has interrupted our routine of the things we count on. We’ve been called to find another way, to stop and consider what we have in a perhaps deeper way. To be kind and patient to those we share paths with.

“EVERYONE CARRIES A HEAVY LOAD“

This is an opportunity to step out of our norm and can be a very useful experience. To see our soft spots, our triggers, our supports, our blessings.

What have we noticed about ourselves, those close to us in relationship and how we interact under stress?

What are our strengths?

Aspects we’d like to step into more fully?

Let go of?

What is calling your attention now?

What new direction might we choose for ourselves to express more fully who we are now?

We are moving past the threshold of Spring into the increasingly productive and fast paced part of our annual cycle, things are speeding up! All of the gestating related to projects and learning new growth patterns are now up-to-bat. It’s time to put what we have learned thus far to use in ourselves and our lives.

While stabilizing your balance point in this new energy pattern I invite you, to consider the following .

– How does independence from outside expectation or “norms,” protect you? Or does it?
– What real life situations can you reflect on to notice the feeling, look, and sound of behaving independently, meaning you are motivated by your own inner authenticity; your core?
– Did you have experiences that helped your clarity around boundaries or truth, perhaps contrasts?
– Were there things you will handle differently in the future if the opportunity presents itself? Like what?

When you are in situations with folk who do not align with your values, goals, or insights, do you find it tricky, awkward, challenging? What kinds of responses have you found helpful when you know there is a misalignment but the relationship is an essential one; like a spouse, family member, employer or coworker?

We have established a bond of trust in our circle, where we can explore together the edges of our comfort zones and feel safe. Our differences in age and stage of life add a depth and resilience to our sharing. Our abilities to exchange with one another, can be the launching pad for healthier and more intimate connections in the expanded circles of our life.

I want to thank all of you for being willing to be present and participate openly in this way. We are all doing our best to be the love, we most value in the world.

The practice of being home, has had an influence on me. I feel more expansive in this smaller space. I see, hear, and feel more of Nature. The mere act of doing less has reshaped my senses and I find a new appreciation of quiet, listening (inside and out), and feeling in-tune with a much bigger life form. 

I feel more creative, less critical, more at ease, and productive in a completely new way. The energy is very feminine, soft, at home, adaptive, receptive, and patient. There is so much power in the ability to adapt; like water, it can support life and also move earth! 

Now and for the foreseeable future, we will be exploring for ourselves what is close to home; figuratively and literally! Let’s see what we find and choose to lean in to the opportunity. Be well.