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Influence & Feeling Valid

Life sometimes includes situations that unfold in such a way that they influence me to question my own validity. I know I’m unique, but I’m not THAT unique that no one else is like me. So maybe this resonates with you?

I had a really not very significant situation the other day, that was a very familiar theme in my history. I had reached out to a friend that I was concerned about with all the storm activity to check in and let them know I was thinking of them. Their response was brief and I didn’t get a sense from their response that they received my care and concern. I felt invalidated. Let’s look at the meanings To be valid is to be valued, to have worth. To be invalid is to not have worth or value and therefore at risk for survival in the hardwired parts of our brain. So, it’s understandably jarring when something lights up that feeling of being invalid or invalidated. And if it relates to experiences that are similar from our history, then it will naturally connect them making it a much bigger stimulus.

Recognizing capacity in ourselves and others is paramount! We all have varying degrees of capacity to hold discomfort, uncertainty, etc., and still be stable within ourselves and present with those around us. Do we know or have a sense of our own capacity around these feelings? Do we feel able to “be” with these kinds of feelings and still be grounded, centered, and/or keep the faith? Great to know. Secondly, how are we at recognizing the capacity of others? Perhaps someone we live with, work with, a friend or family member? It is so helpful (to everyone) if we can recognize this piece and avoid the unrealized expectations (aka frustration) or feel a broken trust, betrayal, or some other unpleasant and unproductive sensation run through us! Let’s explore this further on our call Saturday…

Sensation vs narration or feeling the feelings vs the story –

There is a distinct difference between feeling the feeling sensations,… and activating the story or narration of “what happened.” Feeling the actual sensations in our body connects us to our inner intelligence and replaying the what happened takes us to our thoughts and out of our body. In our thoughts we are likely to follow assumptions, engage our ego and any fears, insecurities, or unhealed wounds that are needing attention.

When we feel the feeling sensations that are connected to the experience it is grounding and adds an expansive and even relaxing state to our experience. Imagine a little child that has a fear or pain, just by your presence with them to care, witness, and love them is very calming. It also builds confidence in them to do the same for themselves.

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” And as we calm our nervous systems, our capacity expands. And in turn, we become those who have more capacity for others too.

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Gateway to Authenticity

I want to talk about something weird and wonderful; intuition. The word is used frequently in conversation. We might say “She is so intuitive.” or “I just intuitively knew…” or “I’d like to develop my intuition even more.” I think each of us have our own sense of what it is and the experience of it. It might be interesting to know the synonyms for the word intuition are; instinct, hunch, ESP, discernment, feeling, clairvoyance, and more.

Depending on how you were raised, taught, what you saw, heard and experienced; this word can hold many different meanings for you. Seems however, like each of us have some sort of inner connection to the experience. My first invitation in this exploration is that we are willing to explore! To “look around” without judgement or fear, without feeling the need to be guarded or defensive in any way.

I’d like to explore how to develop intuition, methods of practice, and what mindset or heart connection would support that.

Let’s start with how it develops. Seems like any “development” would be a process of unfolding, education, and maturity of some sort like “child development” perhaps. For me, the phrase communicates a process that includes a willingness to practice. Practicing anything will include experimentation, intention, and learning from “mistakes”. Some report a spontaneous development of intuition or psychic awareness as a result of a near death experience. I’m not prepared to explore that although I admit I believe that happens.
Mostly, those things we practice everyday become part of us. So for me, one method of practice that I use is to be open or welcoming to the “small voice” inside that tells me “don’t forget your coat” or “bring that box your friend left at your house” even though I have no plans to see her. It is something other than what my logical mind can conjure. It is up to me to first notice when it has a message, and then how to respond. As often as I am aware, I at least consider this “inner voice” an equal perspective and perhaps even more dominant than any logical deduction. I like to play with it even. Like I’ll be at work and have a wave wash over me with the awareness/thought of a particular person and then they walk in the door. Noticing when that happens gives me a clear reflection of my inner landscape.

It can be so satisfying to feel the oneness of our connection to ALL life! And, it will highlight any judgements, fears, or other misgivings there may be in our belief systems too. It’s really useful to meet those parts of ourselves with curiosity and claim sovereignty over our choices around beliefs and behaviors. When we are curious about something, we are open and willing to explore, no matter if it’s a tide pool at the ocean or tasting a new food. We each have a reference to this for ourselves.

That takes me to the part about our mindset. As humans, we naturally have biases; it’s biologically that way for our physical survival. Our ancestors way back, had to make quick and often uninformed judgements that would determine if they lived or died. So that’s understandable and we want to appreciate that aspect of our evolution; after-all – it likely has something to do with our being on the planet today! However, there is a place beyond that place. If we are mindful, and are interested in being open to noticing that we are safe physically, we can notice any internal sensations, messages in words, pictures, or a feeling of “knowingness” that might be present.

Heart connection is another element to consider too. Our heart is our “oldest” organ as it forms by week 7 of gestation! We can often follow our heart when making big decisions more easily than our logic. It is such a deep part of who we are and we feel that. It is considered our feeling center of emotion. What better receptor to call on to receive those feelings of intuition.

This aspect of Self seems to be a gateway to authenticity. Each of us is unique, like everyone else… came to experience life in this world, in this physical dimension. And we are not JUST physical but also have many other aspects to our existence. Psychic awareness is said to be a birthright rather than an unusual or rare “gift” and most of us just haven’t exercised that muscle.

You choose what is right for you. I wish for you to have full access to an empowered life in whatever way you choose, for this journey that we are traveling together