I love seeing Marie Kondo on Netflix demonstrating the value and practicality of claiming one’s space and organizing it in a way that sparks joy and a feeling of support and ultimately empowerment. Of late, I have been wishing for the book on “inner organization”!
Currently, since the end of covid-lockdown, I have had a growing list of both situations and physical things that require my attention. I choose to live as consciously as I can and see every opportunity as a growth opportunity. An Oneida elder once taught me the endless value and beauty of considering a conflict and saying to one’s self “What am I to learn from this?”. It can bring a powerful and significant shift in perspective that puts me in the driver’s seat. I also believe it is closer to the truth than anything else I could tell myself.
No other time in history have we had so many choices. Never before have we had so much ___, fill in the blank! And not just on the positive side of the spectrum either! I feel pummeled by the sheer volume of activity, information, awareness, necessity, importance; I could go on. Perhaps now you have a sense about the overload of my circuits? Clearly, an overloaded circuit is not the most stable or productive support tool.
Drawing from the knowledge and experience I have, I remembered my training in Permaculture. It operates from the perspective of concentric rings starting at the center with the most important sphere of influence, and traveling out with distinct differences, to the fifth ring which holds space for the “wild corridor” those untamed beings. It is essential in planning purposeful space in a homestead for example. So I got the biggest paper I could find and started drawing concentric rings. I caught myself putting “home” and “family” at the center and then corrected it by putting “self” instead. That, helped to center me in an instant.
You see, I’ve been experiencing myself checking out as a result of mentally spinning. I encounter overwhelming volume of things requiring my attention, some of which I really don’t want to do, and then in a fit of exhaustion or mental hysteria, I check out. I will admit, in that moment it feels like the most powerful thing I can do for myself. However, it’s a bit like a snowball, overtime the list gets bigger and the pressure compounds.
One teacher of mine, called us the planet the “duct tape generation” because we are having to come up with fixes to things we encounter broken. We need to make it up as we go in order to preserve life in support of getting to a better tomorrow. We, are the ancestors of the future. We are the ones who are using what we have to make a difference that will influence all of the tomorrows. I don’t want to check out in the face of an uncomfortable feeling like overwhelm. I want to learn how to powerfully choose how I will respond, not expect perfection because of course, I am “in process”! So I have my gigantic drawing of what my concentric rings are and will use it to help me navigate through setting priorities, self care, patience and trusting the future.
That feels more aligned with “Love” than “Fear”. I will use that as my guide along the way.
Here is a beautiful song just released by MaMuse called Her Speak that offers loving and powerful medicine aligned with this topic. Treat your heart and mind to a listen!
Unknown Territory
As I watch a young woman getting ready to begin her senior year in High School, I am reacquainted with the experience of preparing for unknown territory. I realize at her age and stage of life, the world looks full of possible privilege, some danger and of course excitement. I notice that in my world view there seem to be more hazards than hers. I see more consequence and also purpose than she might. And all in all, she is right where she needs to be, here and now. I choose to temper my expression of awareness in order to make space for her original experience and perception. (Or at least I do my best to accomplish that!)
I also appreciate that in my own life I am planning for unknown territory. My age and stage in life are changing day by day. I am entering into my 6th decade now. I appreciate how change is part of life and really only fluctuates based on our attention to it and of course the reflection we receive from those around us about it. How do any of us “prepare for the unknown”? We can’t possibly expect to know what is ahead, right? That isn’t possible! And, avoiding awareness about what terrain is ahead would not be supportive for sure.
So, when I am with this young woman talking about her interests after she graduates high school, or helping her set up and maintain her budget, I hear myself speak to her about the importance of trusting oneself and the quiet voice within to guide and to trust that Life finds a way through challenges and uncertainty; I realize that that is true. And it applies to me too! I look at her and see her future unfolding. I see her gifts that in many cases she does not see as clearly. And so it is with myself. She allows me to see myself in the image she casts in the mirror.
She also reminds me to look for those things in life that bring me pleasure, that refill my energy tank, and offer lightness to my daily experience. Simple things like playing with the dog, listening to nature sounds or enjoying smells and tastes! In all of my awareness of what could be a hazard to be avoided, I want to soak up the sweetness of life as it is in the present moment! To support that for myself, I am actually compiling a list of “pleasures” in my phone. The ongoing list has me scouting for things that bring me pleasure, which changes my filters in order to notice and recognize them.
Creativity is Life unfolding. At any given point, it is incomplete. The trained eye recognizes the “incompleteness” as flow. Life is in process, continually. When I look around my home or office and see things “unfinished”, I can remind myself of that; “Life is in process” and resist the un-supportive judgements that I sometimes heap upon myself by recounting the myriads of things unfinished or yet to be done. And instead I can be open to the quiet voice inside that is the voice of innate wisdom, as it encourages me to be still, take a breath and relax into my life. Be still. Be curious and open to new ways of being that Life is showing me.
What new territory is ahead for you that represents the unknown?
How do you choose to respond to that awareness?
Who might be offering a mirror image for you right now?
What might you list as a “pleasure” in your own life?
Paradox or Out of the Box
I am struck with the paradox that I feel in recent days:
I feel more growth personally but less external connections or expansion.
I feel love more deeply but also more clarity about those things I don’t care for.
I feel more clarity about what is valuable to me and less certain about what is to come.
Jung felt paradox could be a “better witness to truth than a one-sided, so-called ‘positive’ statement.” As such, in its ability to embrace contradiction and both sides of an issue, paradox “… is the natural medium for expressing trans-conscious facts,” and thus is “… one of our most valued spiritual possessions. Quantum physics, for example, is full of paradoxes: What is the nature of light? Is it a wave or a particle? Both. In the same way, we live in a reality that is both determined and indeterminate.
Could it be that our perception of these paradoxes are a reflection of our own expansion? And if that’s a good thing, why does it feel so uncomfortable sometimes? How can we align with opposing directions?
Here’s an example from Celeste:
“I have a situation at home with a loved one that is angry, a lot of the time. This anger makes it uncomfortable for them and everyone around them. They are not open to help or growth. They are over 21 and have every right to make their own choices but not to dictate to others in the house. I feel like I am living with an angry bully, almost everyday. Living in an environment where “sharing” the kitchen for example, is more like a battleground requiring wit, wisdom and cunning. How can I feel this way about a family member? Maybe I’m not giving enough understanding and compassion?
I have wrestled with this dynamic for many years now; have had therapy, readings, read many great books on the topic of healthy boundaries and loving relationships. I am by no means an expert on the topic! But I have much life experience including what does and doesn’t work. At some point we can’t read “the answer” or be told by another what the answer is for us. Thanks to covid, we have both the opportunity to deep dive within the self and the requirement to do so. There’s not as much avoiding it, possible. Spiritual teachers might call this an “accelerated growth” opportunity.
So I am aware that the dynamic with this person has the pattern of an angry bully, so they are not going to be open to reason. They do not want to cooperate, which is abundantly clear. It also makes sense that it would be a relief for them to be directing their anger outside themselves (at me) rather than deal with the personal issues connected to the source of their anger. All of which is important for me to know. therefore, I cannot appeal to that balanced, mature, reasonable and harmonious part of them at the moment. There are times in a human life when you can’t assume or expect someone to be available to be balanced and reasonable.” Very important to access your audience.
“I also have to take responsibility for my grief about this, and my tendency to ignore those facts and pretend they are “okay”, out of my exhaustion or denial. We are more comfortable recognizing that a child for example, needs a nap and not taking their behavior at face value. Of course with a child, I could put them down for a nap! In the case of someone over 21, not so much. Nevertheless, a similar reality in that I cannot take things at face value, I need to use my senses to access the situation, and most importantly, I need to fill my tank so I am not exhausted!!!”
Celeste has awareness of her situation and her responsibilities. She is also aware of some construction responses and options available to her. Can you relate to Celeste?
Consider; an athlete prepares for a competitive event; with rest, food, affirmations, etc. We have the same needs perhaps? How would it be to approach our lives with a similar importance as an athlete approaches a game? Hmmm.
We can’t know what this new year of 2021 will bring. But it is perhaps more clear to identify what not to expect. I don’t expect things to return to “normal” this year. I don’t expect business to stabilize or thrive. I don’t expect I will go anywhere without my mask, that I or others will feel settled this year. If anything, as a “transition” year, it will be unsteady, bumpy, and many new things may be in store that are not yet comfortable. Do I think there will be progress to a “better tomorrow”? YES. And this new Aquarian Age is just,… beginning. Not to be confused with it being in full swing.
We hear people talking about building resiliency, although that is clearly still in the mix, I want to talk about really being clear, honest, and stabilized for what is next. It puts a whole new spin on self care for me. The prospect of challenges that we can see coming, in our home and family. It puts a new filter on our perceptions around things like exercise, rest, etc.
I know Celeste is not alone in the experience of complicated circumstances and challenges. If you are at all gaining anything from this sharing, please know that I and others, might also gain from yours. Our stories might not match or even be very similar; but that is a good thing. Together we cover more surface area and can make connections that create a network of support.
Take stock in your own life and inventory what is ahead for you. Not from an intellectual place of logistics and problem solving so much as from that deeply feminine place of knowing and intuition. Give a voice to the wild unconscious that lives deep within and has been with you for many lifetimes.