Category: Personal Growth

I’d like to talk about choices; saying “yes” and saying “no”. We make choices everyday. Some practical, some preferential; and perhaps some habitual. Personally, I am noticing patterns to my choices and exploring my motivations. I notice that I’m now willing to practice allowing open space in my day; to say yes to inspiration, reflection, more often than before and to feel a sense of purpose within that. I can see that so much of my choices have been without mindfulness and have come from an obligatory place of focusing on others’ needs while discounting my own.

Now, I feel a redirection internally aligned with love. Love for myself and others. As my focus shifts my perspective away from obligation I also see a habitual fear response to trusting that love will come my way. It is not a conscious choice. I often don’t know it is happening in the moment but recognize it later with reflection. As I remind myself of the present moment, my breath, the earth beneath my feet, and my connection to Spirit, God, Great Mystery, my higher Self; there is more space available for me to “be” in. Looking at my options from that place feels so different! From that spacious place inside myself I feel an endless capacity to love, no limits, no fear, no time constraints – just a fluid network of love.

Relationship, actually means “to expand through exchange”. Later it was used as a way to create a more stable survival by marrying daughters to older men who were well off to provide a union through relationship between families. A quinceanera or coming out ball, was to show the daughter in order to open bidding. Our ideas of romance come from Roman perspectives on the beauty of the world but also encompasses the basis of slavery or ownership, not the origin of “relationship” which is about expansion and is constant and necessary.

All relationships help us see something beyond ourselves. They cause us to expand. We are always looking for a new relatedness so we can expand internally and feel free. Every relationship is born from a need of our own selves. You might ask, “What do I need to learn from this relationship? For what purpose? Am I looking for a relationship to fill some voids within me? Or am I looking for a relationship to expand myself?” Until we understand what we need from the relationship, it repeats.

To ask these questions of myself, and actually hear an honest authentic response requires my humility. I must be willing to be vulnerable to whatever that truth is. But to do so is a clear act of true self care, respect, and an investment into really being present with ourselves.

What do we believe? Beliefs are tools to let us know who we are inside, now. In order to know the deepest parts of who we are, we need to go back to all the records of the heart, and our beliefs are the path or the map to who we are at our core. We can use beliefs and track them to be aware of what we feel, not get rid of them. Our awareness of our beliefs can be used for our personal evolution. The vibration of our own voice will help bring that consciousness to us. So speak your truth or sing it!

These days are seeming to move faster and quicker everyday. I am reminded about the term “the speed of light” and how there is more light coming into this plane than ever before. I’ve decided to give up my attachments to how things “should be” or even how I want them to be (I’m still working on that one), but instead see these times as an invitation to surf! There comes a point in the rising waters when walking just doesn’t work, and we adapt to a better means of travel. I find that I also need to respond to the inner voices, from my previous beliefs; that tell me it’s too much, or I can’t do it. Instead of shutting that voice down, I respond with “Let’s see. Maybe we can!”
Maybe now, in this place and time, we can do more than ever before. Let’s just relax into it, and see how it unfolds.” I do believe there is a bigger plan, a higher power, a Source of energy and life force. I choose to allow that energy into my life, here and now.

Are you willing to receive support, love, and divine blessings? I am!

Looking to Nature for the original blueprint of life, I recognize that there are boundaries in all landscapes, in our bodies, in our solar system; everywhere. The word “boundaries” first came to my awareness as I began to learn about New Age and Psychology. But unlike my first impression which were related to learning how to say “no”, be my own advocate and protect my self basically; it is and has been an essential support of Life.

When physical life begins in utero, the first operational organ is our heart. It begins at week seven of gestation. It is our oldest and perhaps most complex part of ourselves! And our heart has a physical boundary. The pericardium is a thin sac that surrounds our heart. It protects and lubricates the heart and keeps it in place within our chest. Wow. Think of that! Our very first boundary in place at seven weeks old!

Fast forward. There are many kinds of boundaries. Geographic with land and water, on the roads with traffic direction and speed, in fact the very space we live inside of, is the result of boundaries. Once we translate boundaries into relationships, it starts to get a bit fuzzy. The same purpose is present however. To organize for maximum harmony and health. The implementation of boundaries sometimes lights up a concern that we might be causing another harm or upset as they may feel rejected. We may be hosting a belief of “win/loose” rather than “win/win”. Anyway, it tends to be a bit tricky. And even in relationships with “healthy” friends it can be present. Depending on how we respond – it can be a growth opportunity or a reason to contract and isolate.

Here’s an example from a recent experience. A few weeks ago a dear friend who lives in San Fransisco was in town and we met for dinner. We hadn’t seen each other for four years and both had a lot of catching up to do. She is an amazing human, very accomplished in teaching, writing, public speaking, and just generally being an inspiration to others without trying to be on a pedestal. It seemed like her share was totally positive! She told me about finding a love relationship with someone who was equally accomplished and how they were crafting a life together that supported high vibration for each of them. He has a big family with it’s share of history and the complexities that that brings, but in all her perspective was consistently “positive”.

Although I had many high points to share with her, I also shared areas of vulnerability, concern, and question. My thought I guess was that this might be an opportunity for advise from someone I respect. Anyway, she listened intently and tracked what I was sharing, but at the normal place in the conversation when the listener might “help”, ask questions, make suggestions, etc., she just launched into another lighthearted story! I was aware of this and was a bit puzzled, and felt my ego consider “rejection” with a side order of low self-esteem. But I chose to just stay present and keep my heart open. And later when I reflected on it, I thought about the kind of person she is and what she had shared about her personal commitment to love and how keeping her vibration higher facilitated her own connection to Love. Then it became more clear. She was in a neutral space, witnessing me in my own perspective of my life, not interrupting with suggestions of how to “fix it”, or advise of any kind. It was one of the most clean and clear conversations I’ve ever had. She honored me on my own journey without judgement of any kind. And I wasn’t used to it!

WOW… A respectful and clean example of how to be present in relationship while maintaining ones own health and wellness, the only real responsibility we each have.
The experience which I have reflected on many, many times; has been a mile-marker for me on my own journey. It let me know more about my patterns, intentions, and skill level. Self mastery, is the only true and worthy opponent in our soul journey.

Recently I found a collection of book reviews, tips, and action plans for self care. I’ve been dedicating time and attention to educating myself on a deeper refinement of my self care practices. I am releasing those patterns of thought and response that no longer serve me. It feels like a lot of catching up on putting things in their proper perspective. One that is supportive and powerful, that reduces stress, resentment toward myself or others, and allows not only growth personally, but love to flourish.

Getting back to the “heart” of the matter, using the example of the pericardium, it is a flexible, constantly present part of the health and wellness of our heart; the oldest and wisest part of our physical body! I choose to be open to all the ways I can say “Yes” to this kind of boundary in my life! As well, I will do my best to support the boundaries of others and recognize that their choices in boundaries are not rejections of me or limitations really. But instead part of their own personal journey.

My prayer is for peace. Neutrality is not apathy. As we each step more fully into our own self response-ability, we allow others to do the same. Our own inner-peace not only radiates into our sphere of influence, it is a testimony of true personal power.

Can you take 5 minutes and dedicate the time to imagining the feeling of harmony and balance in you? In your life?

Perhaps there is something that pops up in your awareness that might block or compromise that for you? Great! That awareness will bring clarity to what you have outgrown or no longer find supportive. Perhaps it is a fear, or a particular dynamic with an individual in your life? Or maybe old grief or resentment? Those influences may be an encumbrance for your growth and you have the opportunity to choose what you hold and what you release.

This is a great time to see your resources with fresh eyes. Perhaps you will want to refresh your altar for the full moon. Or if you don’t have an altar or special place dedicated to those things you want to focus on, grow or call in; you might want to set that up for yourself. 

Feeling, thought, word, deed; all acts of creation. May we each find our true authentic selves in the reflections of what we create, as the edge of what is possible, rather than the limit!

If you choose to, make a written list of the things/dynamics/situations/beliefs you are grateful for and those you are ready to release. Each individual holds a birthright as creator in their lives and influences countless other lives as well. Thank you for honoring your lineage with your caring and wisdom.

May your contribution be reflected back to you in beautiful and unexpected ways!

We are now in the energy of Pisces, the twelfth zodiac sign. This energy is known for empathic, visionary, sensitive qualities; and we all have all 12 zodiac energies in each of us. So no matter what your birthday is or your sun sign, this may have value for you. In any case, I think we can all relate to the experience of taking on concerns, issues, and aspects of conflicts, in and around us. This often is noticed as anxiety within ourselves. And we all have our own signature style of how that looks, sounds, and feels; and how we respond too.

“Resistance is futile” comes from a well followed source of wisdom; Star Trek. Personally, it has been helpful for me to remember, in so many aspects of life that I do not approve of, enjoy or prefer; I have often resist or “fight”. And, well, that is a waste of my energy! It may sound odd since we have for centuries respected fighting for our life and those we love. And that is natural, biological. But consider this for a moment. Whatever and wherever we direct our energy, our focus or attention; it expands. Consciousness IS expanding and when we are relaxed, not fighting or in fear; we become aligned with that higher vibration of higher consciousness. So then, perhaps surrendering is the best course to support that! Let’s take this apart.

The word performance comes from the same root as surrender. It comes from the verb “render”, which means “to do”, to produce something. Rendering something is putting it together, producing it. The word surrender comes from the Latin “reddere” (to return) or “surredere” (to return from below). The Latin words “re-” (to return to), “dare” (to give) and “sub” (low), speak of a subjugated return, an implicit return. Performance is the instrument that has been returned, it is what has been achieved, what returns to you for your actions and tasks. In the same way, surrender speaks of the action of returning what was delivered. Surrender, then, defines the act of an individual to return to themself, without imposing force towards the outside. 

When you surrender, you integrate, you stop looking outside, clinging to external agents, to return to yourself, to the center, to the one that you are, and give yourself what you previously gave to others. The act of surrender would be to return to me. With that energy returned to me, I have the ability to choose where and how to use it. Make sense?
Well, I think we’d all agree that responsibility for ourselves, our health, well-being, etc., is our number one priority. One important aspect to self mastery, is self care. Investing in ourselves allows us to care for others and the world around us as well as hold a strong vessel for the higher vibration to come into this time and space, and be grounded. Important co-creative work!

“Good Morning Master! I see and acknowledge that you have great power. I suggest you use it wisely. Good morning Master.” (Father Charles Moore, Pacific Grove, CA, 2/15/1927 – 12/9/2007)

Things feel like they are softer, settling a bit, and becoming more energized. Astrologically, the central theme for March is healing and freedom from past hurts and burdens. Sounds good right? We could sure use a break from the “covid fatigue”. We are basically one year into this historical event that has brought so many changes to our world, taught us countless lessons around flexibility, adaptability, and humility. Now might be a good time, no a really good time to give an extra measure of attention, to our need for support, to refill and refuel. To invest in our own stabilization.

Unconscious reactivity and triggers are part of the healing and purging going on right now. Boundaries are essential and more so than usual; as is finding and maintaining your own sovereign center. And essential of course is remembering that we all have times when we don’t show up at our best or fall short from our goal – but that’s okay. No judgement or self-recrimination; just get back to basics again. Learning from those less than perfect experiences will potentially be our “nuggets” to cash in for future.

It’s a good month to multiply heart energy. To give and receive from the heart and know where to seek it, as well as where it’s welcome and aligned with purpose. And if we are around others having a hard time, not to feel guilty or deflect our good experiences and feelings. Those “good feelings” are healing energy for us all!! We need more not less.
Personally, I’ve had a birthday which is always a great motivator to think and see things differently. It’s an empowering experience to speak what one wants for their birthday celebration and to have a safe space to speak into. So, that was my experience. We (my husband, granddaughter, and I) had a sweet time on Wednesday taking a short road trip to San Jose for lunch and then hit a couple of my favorite fun places before coming home to lay out a spread of selected delectables for our charcuterie dinner. All surrounded by little reminders of love in the form of cards, flowers, and sweet messages. I consciously reminded myself to relax and receive it all. I wanted to enjoy it for the special expression of love that it was. And it was so enjoyable.

The day after, still in the throws of simple pleasures and gratitude, I woke up and just sat in my bedroom taking in the space and beauty. Rather than rushing into the practical routines that come with morning, I felt into the energy and opened space and quiet inside to become part of it all. I was moved to jot down a few words. Here they are:

Morning Guidance
In the cool morning air while the light is still dim I hear a sound that carries purity, hope, and calm lightly upon my heart.

In the flick and dip movements along the surface of the ground a dance among the birds and rabbits tell of a life for all who see it, a harmony, a patience, and a timelessness, that I love.

The morning dove sets her coo upon the day like a blessing for all who hear. Knowing life this way, is a guide for how to live.

I see your medicine for our time. My heart swells in gratitude, appreciation, and reverence for your offering to my life, to all, in this moment.

Stepping out of our routine, our daily lives and into a space and place that is not familiar can be, well, many things. It can be new and exciting. Things can go not according to plan and be challenging. But there is an invitation at least, to step out and trust that things will work out, and see what happens. To follow where you are being drawn to. I just returned from a road trip with my granddaughter and husband to Arizona late last night after two days there, plus a full day of driving each way. 

Leaving the care of my cat, dove, and countless wild birds to someone else was a conscious choice, but required me to surrender control and “be” with all the feelings that were brought up. Feelings of gratitude for the freedom for me and also the care for these loving and dependent beings. Feelings of adventure but also the letting go of my role, my place in the world I have created. The awareness that I can be replaced and the world will go on without me. Life finds a way…

Handing over the wheel of my car to my 17 year old driver’s permitted granddaughter, was another kind of surrender. Letting go of the identity I place on her as “little” or someone I need to do things for, like driving; and replace that projection with one that is current, upgraded, and expanded. To invite and actually sanction her growth and readiness for more adult responsibility. To convey my confidence and trust in her judgement and ability, is a crucial stage for both of us, for all of us really!

And initially, that surrender felt like I was getting smaller,… But in reflection now, I actually feel more expansive. I feel more comfort and space around what is possible. Things that have had a certain routine, might happen differently. Timing could be more flexible, without it being an issue. Who knows how many new and undiscovered possibilities there are for things to happen! Who knows how different our own identities could be??? What kind of anonymity is available if we just open up enough to make space for it?

While away, at different times, I would imagine myself as someone else, anyone else. In Arizona the demographics are different than in Monterey, for sure. Most people didn’t wear masks, there were Trump 2020 flags in store fronts, restaurants offered inside dining and were packed. There were ATV’s and RV’s everywhere and vehicles pulled just off the highway in random places. As if there were “no rules” so to speak. The landscape was extremely different, more arid and desert terrain. My sense of “how things are” was challenged, causing me to check in with myself and see was I just following along or how personally informed and committed was I to the routines and practices I invested in?

Coming home, I wondered how I might hold onto some of that anonymity? After all, I COULD be anyone I chose to be! Right? Clearly, our days and lives are made up of strings of choices we make. Perhaps we go through a bit of a rut out of sheer momentum, but the option is there. And now, there is so much “wind at out back” supporting new, innovative, and expansive energy in our world. The thought of that makes me want to “set my sail” in a direction I’ve been wanting to travel! To step out. Out of the shadows, the routines, the “norm” whatever that has been. How about you? Are you feeling this? Does this resonate at all?

I appreciate the opportunity to step out of my norm in all of the many shades of color and texture I found. It has left me feeling empowered in a new way. All of the ways I have shared plus just the act of going out on this buying trip for gems and crystals; to go direct to the source! And to find treasures I wouldn’t have otherwise.

Here is a quote from an ancient wisdom that feels potent to me:

“The weight you feel has been chosen by you, nobody has placed it on you. The weight we each carry is the chosen responsibility. The load we drag is the weight of our choice. You owe nothing to anyone, no one depends on you. You’re free. That person who feels weight for their family is actually free. He who feels responsibility for his work is free. That person who blames herself for the mistakes made, is free. Those who live by karma are free. Whoever sees themselves fulfilling a mission is free. Who takes care of a child feeling that it is the most important thing, is free … Do you understand? You are always free. The only thing that weighs on you is your choice about things. You do what you can not because it is within your power, but because you “can.” You are free to decide not to do it, as you were free when you chose to do it. But the weight does not fall on you, because all that exists is a memory, a network, and by sharing what you know, you distribute this weight, you distribute the pressure. You are no longer alone, neither here nor there, you are remembering …”

We are remembering, more and more, our Selves, our uniqueness, our power, our choice, our part of the whole; the unity. Remembering can feel like waking from a dream, enjoyable or not. It can feel unfamiliar – an altered reality, even distorted from the “norm”.

As we move into this Aquarian innovative energy, with Uranus’ fast and free energy squaring Saturn’s slow and structured energy; we can expect our attention to gravitate toward a new way, cleaning out the old, questioning the rules and being open to our higher truth. All of this revolves within the sphere of our pure and simple freedom.

Within the reality of this freedom, we are choosing to see or not to see, hear or not to hear, feel or not to feel. It is a powerful time, to move on from any patterns of powerlessness, passivity, or patterns of fear within ourselves. Let’s embody our true nature as clear and present creative beings, exercising our connection to unity consciousness – collaborating, sharing openly with one another, without attachment. From the connection to our own hearts, following the flow and direction it dictates for us. We are free to choose the “blue pill” or the red pill” as in the movie Matrix. It is time to own that choice for ourselves and not wait for another person to direct us, measure us, or to approve of us.

We are all in this together and there are no passengers.

Let’s recognize this in our circle of friends, family or colleagues and encourage it. The differences we present can be the harmony we create together, the healing we seek for the planet and all life. Please, speak your truth, sing it, chant it, whisper it. All levels of vibration are creative. Choose wisely!

As many of you are, I have been finding my balance with the new way of things in our world, but mostly within myself. I deeply value your influence in my life, the inspiration, contrasts and reflections are precious to me.